Uhhh, can we get our money back? (AP Photo/HO/Disney)
In today's forecast, a 100 percent chance of snow and make-believe in Florida. (AP Photo/HO/Disney)
Not my cup of Yeti. (AP Photo/HO/Disney)
Joe Rohde, mountain man and executive designer for Walt Disney Imagineering. (AP Photo/HO/Disney)
Laundry day at Expedition Everest. (AP Photo/HO/Disney)
Derrik J. Lang Rides Everest
Much to the amusement of other reporters, Walt Disney Company CEO Robert Iger tells Lang about braving Everest.
Walt Disney CEO Robert Iger reveals whether he's a screamer or not.
It's called Expedition Everest, but riders don't actually visit Mt. Everest. Executive designer Joe Rohde explains.
Animal Kingdom Vice President Beth Stevens discusses why that audio-animatronic Yeti is important to the park.

The fake mountain is based on Himalayan peaks. The extensive queue is based on a Tibetan village. Even the SUV-sized audio-animatronic Yeti is based on local lore.

Unlike fantastical Walt Disney World attractions of yore, the recently launched thrill ride Expedition Everest is based in fact -- of the sugarcoated variety.

Talking mice and pearly princesses aside, Disney World isn't just an escape from reality. It's an escape to hyper-reality. This is the vacation destination where you can check into your hotel in the Caribbean (across the street from Atlantic City), have a moonlit lunch al fresco in Mexico (indoors and air conditioned), hang glide over the Golden Gate Bridge (even if there's no wind) then fly to space (without enduring all that NASA training).

It is a small world, after all.

With the opening of Expedition Everest at Disney's Animal Kingdom, it's becoming even smaller. Designers -- or "Imagineers" as they're known 'round these parts -- trekked to the Himalayas to research the real range. Construction crews employed 2,000 gallons of paint and 1,800 tons of steel to turn six boggy acres into a 199-foot-tall snowy alp. And Disney enlisted the Discovery Channel to document and supplement the four-year-long project with nonfiction programming.

For an entertainment empire rooted in imagination, Disney's coaster reaches new heights of pseudo-authenticity. Perhaps they learned something from reimagining "Pocahontas" and "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" as chirpy singing 'toons?

Cloning the exotic isn't just Disneyish. It's American. Just take a look at any food court in any mall across the country. French fries are served alongside General Tso's chicken. In Las Vegas, dubbed a Disney World for adults, visitors can stay in Paris, Venice, New York and Egypt without ever leaving The Strip.

Of course, facsimiles of North Korea or Iraq are a more difficult to discover, but some folks are trying that, too.

Perhaps, one day, we'll be able to see the whole world without ever leaving Disney World. For now, we'll have to settle for a tumultuous Himalayan train ride ending in a gift shop. Instead of transporting guests to Tomorrowland or Fantasyland, Expedition Everest transfers tourists to Asia, a place they could actually visit themselves if they truly desired. (Orbitz has airfare from New York to Katmandu for $1,240.)

"If you look at fantasy for most people, they could go to Nepal," says Jay Rasulo, chairman of Walt Disney Parks and Resorts. "They could do it. But for most people, it will remain a fantasy."

Fantasy? Reality? At Disney World, it seems the difference doesn't really matter. With some money, imagination and technology -- or "magic" as it's known 'round these parts -- Mickey Mouse can have whatever he wants. Like mountains.

At the Magic Kingdom, the resort's original theme park, three peaks -- Space Mountain, Big Thunder Mountain and Splash Mountain -- join Cinderella's Castle amid the flat Floridian skyline. A few miles away, Expedition Everest's Forbidden Mountain now joins them. (As the story goes, the attraction's mountain is not actually called "Everest" because that audio-animatronic Yeti stops you from acutally getting to "Everest.")

So what's the obsession with the humps?

"We go to the mountain for enlightenment, for self-realization, for adventure, for discovery," says Joe Rohde, the executive designer behind Expedition Everest and Animal Kingdom. "It's pregnant with meaning. When people see a mountain, they invest it with meaning. Not plot. Not character."

Mt. Everest is a real place. Expedition Everest is only real enough for tourists to be able to handle. Guests don't actually have to deal with frosty weather. There's no discussion of Nepal-China relations. You won't find a memorial to climbers who died attempting to reach the summit of Mt. Everest. And the trains don't go too fast. So both dad and junior can enjoy the ride.

Yes, this is Mt. Everest for everyone. Well, everyone taller than 44 inches.

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Derrik J. Lang is an asap reporter based in New York.

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