Chef Abby Hitchcock shows her finger covered with melting chocolate from Paul Newman chocolate chip cookies during her taste test of various foods in New York, Thursday Aug. 8, 2005. (AP Photo/Bebeto Matthews)

Chef Abby Hitchcock compares Paul Newman's cookies and Suzanne Sommers brownies during her taste test of various foods in New York, Thursday Aug. 8, 2005. (AP Photo/Bebeto Matthews)

Chef Abby Hitchcock chooses a winner between Linda McCartney's buttersquash ravioli and Jimmy Buffet's calypso coconut shrimp, during her taste test of various foods in New York, Thursday Aug. 8, 2005. (AP Photo/Bebeto Matthews)

Chef Abby Hitchcock during her taste test of various foods in New York, Thursday Aug. 8, 2005. (AP Photo/Bebeto Matthews)

Chef Abby Hitchcock smells and gives a disapproving look to Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville Calypso Coconut Shrimp during her taste test of various foods in New York, Thursday Aug. 8, 2005. (AP Photo/Bebeto Matthews)

Paul Newman vs Suzanne Somers. (AP Photo/Bernadette Tuazon)

"Antioxidants" we know but "ashwaganda"? (AP Photo/Bernadette Tuazon)

"Original" marinades, but are they worthy? (AP Photo/Bernadette Tuazon)

Hot and peppery. (AP Photo/Bernadette Tuazon)

A McCartney cooks up a squash but not to be paired with dancing shrimps in Margaritaville. (AP Photo/Bernadette Tuazon)

Chef Abby Hitchcock smells a dab of hot sauces during her taste test of various foods in New York, Thursday Aug. 8, 2005. (AP Photo/Bebeto Matthews)

As a society, we love to consume celebrities, gobbling gossipy morsels from the likes of Us Weekly and Entertainment Tonight. Thanks to a fridgeful of C-list-backed celebrity food products, now we actually can.

Stars such as Suzanne Somers and Cheech Marin -- and even deceased celebs like Linda McCartney -- have slathered their name and likeness on eats from frozen ravioli to bake-'em-yourself brownies.

asap took a star-studded grocery trip and asked Abby Hitchcock, 31-year-old chef and owner of CamaJe Bistro in New York's West Village, to pit like-minded celebrity foods against each other on her palate to see which nosh is Oscar-worthy.

BEVERAGES

Lil' Jon's Crunk!!! Juice energy drink ($2)

Name recognition: "I know the name, but I couldn't possibly tell you what he sings."

The look: "I like some of the other energy drink packaging better. This looks a little too masculine. It looks like a cartoon."

Full disclosure: "I must admit I don't drink a lot of energy drinks because I tend to be sensitive to caffeine."

Taste test: "It tastes pretty good. It's got a nice balance of flavor. I like the size of the bubbles."

Feeling crunk? "I'm not sure about that yet."

Moby's teany peach berry green tea ($2)

Name recognition: "I love Moby. Some of his music gets on my nerves, but he seems like a cool guy."

The look: "I love the bottle. I think the label is great. I love that it's in lowercase. It's very cute. They have a funny little cartoon on the back."

Full disclosure: "When I was eight years old, I went to Colorado and I got altitude sickness and I had peach iced tea and I threw up. I have this instant memory of lying like a heap in a hammock whenever I smell anything peach flavored."

Taste test: "It's not nearly as sweet as it smells. With peach-flavored things, they often smell like a lollipop."

Ever had teany before? "No, I've always wanted to try it."

Winner: Moby. "It's pretty natural. There's no preservatives or anything at all. I can imagine brewing something like that. Crunk is just too energizing for me. It's a little bit too sweet."

FROZEN APPETIZER

Linda McCartney's butternut squash ravioli ($5)

Name recognition: "If they came up with this line after she died, that would be really weird, but it's been established for so long, it's fine."

The look: "If I saw this in the supermarket, I would never think, `Boy, I'm going to have butternut squash ravioli for dinner!' It looks so old fashioned."

Taste test: "The pasta is quite thick relative to the butternut squash filling. There's hardly any butternut squash in there!"

Smell ya' later: "It smells like mushroom soup from a can."

Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville Calypso Coconut Shrimp ($9)

Name recognition: "Of course I love that `Margaritaville' song."

The look: "It's very tropical. It looks more contemporary whereas the Linda McCartney packaging looks overstyled."

Taste test: "I don't like the way it's breaded solidly. (Makes gagging noises.) I love Jimmy Buffet, but I hate this shrimp."

Smell ya' later: "I cannot get away from the Coppertone smell. I smell this hideous fake coconut smell."

Winner: Linda McCartney. "This is a hard one, but I'm going to have to say the butternut squash ravioli. I could not eat more than one (of the Margaritaville shrimp). I didn't even want to have that second one. Thank God we tasted the ravioli first."

MARINATED GRILLED CHICKEN

Cooking lesson: "I marinate almost nothing. The idea with a marinade is you take a very flavorful liquid, submerge the meat in this liquid and it absorbs the flavors that are in the marinade. From a food science point of view, you never penetrate more than a quarter of an inch of flesh so, in fact, people think it'll make the middle of their meat amazing, but it doesn't."

Ernest Hemingway's Bimini marinade ($4)

The packaging says: "Papa had a taste for good living. Inspired by his favorite places, we've combined the finest ingredients in a classic collection of marinades to bring out the best in any dish. They'll be appreciated by everyone who, like Hemingway, has an appetite for life."

Name recognition: "I always joke that I'm illiterate. It's such a hard thing in the restaurant business to find the time (to read books) because I can't in the morning and I can't read at night because I get home at 2 a.m. and totally conk out."

Taste test: "This mixture tastes pureed. There's something in there like allspice or something. I think it's powdered ginger I'm tasting that I don't like."

What would Hemingway say? "I don't think he would think it was very authentic."

Jeff Foxworthy's Original Redneck BBQ Sauce ($4.50)

The packaging says: "In racing, it's the `Hoss' and in Bar-B-Que it's the `Sauce!' Let me tell you folks this is the good stuff right here. A lot of time and dirty napkins went into coming up with these award winning combinations. They're great for marinating, the grill or even dippin'. Heck, I've heard several people say they use the Tangy Mustard as a salad dressing! Or was that an after shave? I don't remember. Whatever way you find to use them, pour them on, because if you leave a Bar-B-Que and your clothes aren't a mess... You might not be having enough fun! `Bone Appateet,' Jeff Foxworthy."

Name recognition: "Oh, he's a comedian?"

Taste test: "I like this one better. They were on the grill for the same amount of time, but this one is sweeter. Sometimes grilling makes food taste a little bit harsh."

Feeling like a redneck? "Uh, I'm not sure if I know what that would feel like."

Winner: Jeff Foxworthy. "I happen to love barbecue sauce, but they both taste very manufactured to me."

HOT SAUCES

Joe Perry's Boneyard Brew Hot Sauce ($8.50)

Name recognition: "Yeah, my favorite Aerosmith song is `Love in an Elevator.'"

The look: "I like this bottle a lot. It's an interesting shape and it doesn't have his picture on it like the other two."

Taste test: "At first, I didn't think it was spicy enough, but it's got a kick to it."

Jim "J.R." Ross' Roasted Hot Pepper Sauce ($4)

Name recognition: "Um, yeah. He's that famous J.R. guy. He's a chef, right?" (He's actually an announcer for World Wrestling Entertainment's "RAW.")

The look: "That's such a horrible portrait of him. He looks so serious."

Taste test: "I actually like the little bits of pepper."

Cheech Marin's The Cheech Smokin' Chipotle ($4)

Name recognition: "You can't help but smile when you think of Cheech and Chong. He's actually a really cool guy. I heard him interviewed on NPR and he's done all of these really cool things, none of which I can remember now."

The look: "He's got such a goofy grin."

Taste test: "I had such high hopes for Cheech, but this tastes way too vinegary."

Winner: Joe Perry. "Um, yeah. I really don't like any of them, but the Boneyard Brew is the most flavorful."

DESSERT

Cooking lesson: "The volatile oils in chocolate that give cocoa its intensity are heat sensitive, which is why cocoa doesn't taste as chocolatey as chocolate."

Suzanne Somers' SomerSize flourless brownies ($15)

Name recognition: "I remember her being the ditzy blonde (on `Three's Company'). I always liked Jack. I never paid as much attention to the women on that show."

The look: "I think this is so cute. It's really simple. No refined sugars. It's funny because there's a little tiny picture of her, but it's not as splashy as I expected. Where did you find this?" (It's available online and from the Home Shopping Network.)

What's inside: "The ingredients themselves, I don't what they are, which always freaks me out. Like I don't know acesulthame. It sounds fake."

Taste test: "It's not as bad as I would've expected, but it's very cocoa-y. I'm getting a strange aftertaste. Do we have to eat any more?"

Paul Newman's Newman-O's organic chocolate cookies ($5)

First impression: "I stuck my finger in the bag and it was all melted."

Name recognition: "He's given away tons of money to charity. He's a really great person. He's into more liberal causes and promoting organic foods is another good thing to do. It fits along with his whole mission."

The look: "They're quite pale."

Taste test: "It tastes like any other store-bought, mediocre cookie."

Winner: Paul Newman. "They're more real somehow to me. I really like the packaging of the SomerSize, but at least the cookies are all real with organic ingredients."

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Derrik J. Lang is an asap staff writer. For a better view of the celebrity tasteoff, check asap later today for more photos.

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