A Police reunion? But what about...
Sting and Company are getting back together for this weekend's Grammy awards. But what if you're hankering for a different sort of reunification? CARYN BROOKS unveils her reunion wish list.
This is not my beautiful reunion. The Talking Heads are heretofore tight-lipped.
The big buzz leading up to this year's Grammy awards telecast is the scheduled reunion of The Police. Sure, that's exciting -- if you like The Police.
With bands of years past reuniting in recent years -- with lucrative results -- many fans have had their nostalgia jones sated. But not everybody can be satisfied. There are always those elusive reunion holdouts, though fewer and fewer seem to roam the land. Everyone has a wish list. Here's but one.
THE SMITHS
Big game hunters have got this long-mourned band in their sights, but no one can bag the big one.
Smiths singer Morrissey famously revealed last year that the band was offered $5 million by the organizers of the Coachella Music Festival to rev up the "How Soon Is Now" machine. That offer was nixed. Morrissey maintains that money will never be the change agent in this equation.
He said at the time, "I do what I do because it's all that I am." Even though Morrissey himself went to great lengths to gleefully reunite his favorite band, The New York Dolls, as part of a festival he was curating in 2004, he seems unwilling to bring the same kind of joy to Smiths fans worldwide. Though Morrissey was the voice of the Smiths, guitarist Johnny Marr was equally responsible for the band's suave cacophony. If only these two could kiss and make-up; alas, the clash of egos is unrelenting.
Handicap: 2 in 100 chance of reuniting.
Why: Guitarist Johnny Marr and bassist Andy Rourke hit the stage together recently.
Why not: Morrissey authored the line: "I bear more grudges/Than lonely high court judges."
GUNS N' ROSES
Sure, Axl Rose may tour, fight and allegedly record the long-simmering album "Chinese Democracy" under the moniker "Guns N' Roses, but everybody knows there's no G N'R without Slash.
And a true G N'R reunion would collect the original "Appetite for Destruction" crew, addled drummer Steven Adler included. Sure, the tour would only make it through one city (maybe) before imploding, but we've got to dream big.
Handicap: 25 in 100 chance of reuniting.
Why: Axl needs all the people he can get to help protect him from Tommy Hilfiger.
Why not: Everyone else needs to be protected from Axl.
THE TALKING HEADS
Make no mistake about it -- all the bands today copping that "Stop Making Sense" sensibility aren't just nicking David Byrne. Nope, The Talking Heads were a musical frisson born of art school anarchy and Reaganomics reactionaryism.
Though Byrne has certainly gone on to follow his muse elsewhere (generally other continents) and bandmates Tina Weymouth and Chris Franz's side project The Tom Tom Club proved to be a vanguard dance music group, nothing they've done separately has matched the catch-phrase bootstomping of The Talking Heads.
Handicap: 75 in 100 chance of reuniting.
Why: The Arcade Fire is gaining on them.
Why not: That IS TOO my beautiful house!
PRINCE AND THE REVOLUTION: "PURPLE RAIN" LINE-UP
Prince Rogers Nelson can stand on his own. He can stand on his own dressed more daintily than any man cheered on by a Super Bowl crowd in the history of Super Bowls. He can stand on his own in front of any audience and make them his. This is undebatable. Yet...there's that one thing that would make the always amazing Prince concert experience even more sublime. Wendy. Lisa. Bobby. DOCTOR! Yep, the original "Purple Rain" crew. Running through that whole record from beginning to end. A world of never-ending happiness, indeed.
Handicap: 50 in 100 chance of reuniting.
Why: A Wendy and Lisa sandwich!
Why not: Prince's recent allegiance to the Jehovah's Witness team has him cutting out some of the racier music of his past.
THE SPICE GIRLS
Most great bands are made of disparate elements that somehow fuse to create an unmatchable chemical reaction. So what if The Spice Girls wore the periodic table on their chests? Crazy, Sporty, Baby, Posh and Ginger brought a pop bite to the grunged out '90s, infusing fun and frolic into a "whatever" world.
Since they split in 2001, The Girls' individual solo careers have seemingly stalled making this a ripe time for a zig-a-zig ahhhgain.
Handicap: 80 in 100 chance of reuniting.
Why: Sometimes you gotta get with your friends.
Why not: Posh hardly needs the cash.
LE TIGRE: ORIGINAL LINEUP
While the dance-punk feminist trio known as Le Tigre broke up in 2006, they had been dead to many already. The band's self-titled first release in 1998 was a rare thing: joltingly clever in the lyrics department and musically sock-knocking.
The phrase "instant classic" is sorely overused in the music describing biz, but "Le Tigre" was that: a cornerstone in the underground music cannon. Then, Sadie Benning left.
Benning, a visual artist, departed before the group's second record was made to pursue her art. JD Samson joined the crew and Le Tigre went on. But...things just weren't the same. Now, it could just be that Le Tigre was a one-record wonder and Benning's departure had nothing to do with it. It will take a reunion to find out. We're waiting!
Handicap: 45 in 100 chance of reuniting.
Why: There doesn't seem to be any bad blood between these riot grrls.
Why not: They just broke up about 15 minutes ago.
Caryn Brooks is asap's entertainment editor. A reunion of her college band The Iguana Rhythm Squad is highly unlikely although she is open to all offers.
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